A Mighty Wind is Blowing....

Oh, Darlings - I KNOW you feel neglected. Here it is, the holiday season, and I haven't been here for you. But things have been even more hectic than usual, and that has caused me to set you adrift. But at least I can give you an update.

For starters, Today's World and I have parted company. Believe me when I say that it was on the most amicable of terms. The severance package was more than generous, and I have not a bad thing to say about them.

Being at loose ends fits me at this point in my life: Mother Vel-DuRay (the biological one, not the somewhat nebulous one) is rather gravely ill. The doctors feel that she has excellent odds for recovery, but in the meantime I shall probably find myself needed at the Old Home Place rather more than usual (those of you who know The Old Home Place will understand the ramifications of this) But at least I have a few month's pay, then unemployment, then my Today's World stock options, to keep the wolf from the door. The Colonel, of course, will be there to tend to things and fill in where my finances might eventually lack. Chez Vel-DuRay is far from being sold for taxes, although I still wish we had some Portierres in case I need to make an outfit for to woo suitors. (If you are not a "Gone With The Wind" groupie, you can ignore that last remark)

Add to all of this mayhem the fact that we have the plumber coming in to re-plumb Chez Vel-DuRay (and finally finish that basement bathroom!) that I am somewhat thankful that Today's World rather insisted on the seperation, so that they would have to foot most of the bill. God Bless You, Franklin Delano Roosevelt!

So there you have it. As I type this, I am taking a breather at the Knickerbocker Hotel (right ACROSS the street from The Drake) in Chicago, girding my loins for that final push to Council Bluffs. I'll be there at least through the 29th, probably to return in mid-January (after the rath-er mannish plumber finishes her work). Lord only knows what Spring will Bring. Perhaps the Good Taste Chronicles will have to take on that prickly question: "Whither, Council Bluffs?"

Things that make you go Hmmmm......

We had a bit of a local tragedy the other night. A Sheriff's Deputy was shot and killed by a suicidal loon.

I won't comment on the death of the Deputy, except to say that it's a darn shame. But I will comment on the funeral arrangements (which, by the way, fall SQUARELY into the field of taste and breeding. There are VERY strict rules you must obey to keep a solemn event from turning into a maudilin farce. More on that another time)

The Deputy, like so many other dead law enforment and firefighters in this area, is being buried from the Seattle-based Christian Faith Center.

The "Center" (here's a hint: real churches aren't called "centers") is a dreadful complex. Rather, it's a pair of dreadful complexes: One by the airport, and one in the most odious suburb of Seattle, a place with the very banal name of "Mill Creek". (Mill Creek didn't exist until the 60's. There is no mill, and any creek there was probably buried long ago, which would explain why most of the houses don't have basements.) It's one of those congregations that have arena-sized churches (on the theory that the bigger the crowd, the closer you are to salvation?) and is very self-conciously "hip". (Think "rock" bands, Christian "rap" and gigantic TV screens. The only thing they lack is a huge scoreboard with a Coke advertisement on it.) As far as audience participation goes, apparently all that is required of a person is to show up, stand around with your eyes closed and your arms in the air (but there are extra points for crying) and - of course - pay your tithe. Gotta keep the clergy in those Escalades and pastel suits.

It's headed up by the suspiciously minty-flavored Pastor Casey Treat. I have notoriously bad gaydar, so this means nothing, but when I see the good Pastor, my gaydar goes off the charts.

Although it should be said in both Pastor Treat's and the Christian Faith Center's defense, they are pretty tame when it comes to the anti-gay hype. Much better than Pastor Mark Driscoll at the "Mars Hill Church" or Reverend Ken Hutchinson at the Antioch Christian Church (which meets in a high school gym, but that's not important right now)

Perhaps it's this tolerance that allows them to somehow have the corner on dead public safety officials. Call me a cynic - because you know I am - but I somehow don't think that ALL of fallen men and women were members of the CFC (which is also the acronym for that stuff that was in hairspray and destroyed the environment), but yet they are almost always buried from the Sea-Tac "Campus". In my blackest thoughts, I suspect that - GASP - the departed were not religious at all! So when they need a big hall with a religious vibe that's near the airport (because cops and firemen like to come from all over the country to attend funerals of their co-workers) they ring up Pastor Casey.

You had better BELIEVE that if I were to die in some heroic, suitable-for-TV manner, There would be a Cathedral (i.e. a REAL church) involved. There would be a big choir in tasteful robes (Gregorian chants and the like are wonderful for funerals), ranks of acolytes, and the smell of incense everywhere. It would be high drama and wonderful theatre - as funerals are meant to be - and there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house. Or in the procession of pearl grey Lincoln Town Cars with matching hearse.

And there would be trained snipers in the steeples with instructions to shoot anyone who approaches the cathedral with a set of bagpipes. Bagpipes are never appropriate, under any circumstances, but especially at funerals. I don't know where so many cops and firemen got the idea that that was "the thing to do". Probably from someone like Pastor Casey Treat.

My Front Page

The "splash" page of my website (www.danlangdon.com) has had a problem for - well - forever, and if it weren't for the Madison Homemaker, I probably would never have noticed it.

It was strictly my fault, of course. I had "commented out" the image, which was a dumb thing to do. Especially since I didn't know that I knew how to "comment", but there you have it.

sowww.danlangdon.com is back and operating. Thank you, Mrs C. Cryer of Madison, WI