Whoo Hoo! It's a long weekend!

In honor of our Presidents (except for the current one, who wasn't elected anyway) We have Monday off here at Today's World! The colonel is off to San Francisco, and the Greek is back in Chicago, so it's just me, the livestock, and the Kimball Swinger!

But I am going out with Catalina Vel-DuRay (My drag mother) on Sunday. For the Record: I'm not a drag queen, late night solo showtune lip-syncing not withstanding, but you never know when you could use a drag mother, so I keep her on retainer.

Mother (as opposed to my mom. Don't get the two confused, or you'll have a very irate old Irish lady on your hands) still likes to "shake it down", despite her advanced age. She takes an annual southern vacation which I am certain is a vision of the apocolypse: Her, in her bikini on the beach, laughing and dancing/dancing and laughing. It should be noted that whenever she goes on vacation, some national calamity (9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the list goes on and on) occurs, but you will have to ask Pat Robertson about the possible Biblical significance of that.

She is also fond of bowling and (I think) Benson & Hedges. While she's bitter, it's a mellow kind of bitter, and if you don't get too close you'll be fine. But watch out for her lighter.

Anyway, those are my plans. Time to stock up on the boxes of wine!