The necktie says it all....

Here I am, all dressed up, and with the old tie, looking like an appliance salesman from the 60's



The other day, while running some errands downtown, I got the ridiculous idea in my head that I might buy a new necktie for my second interview at that Major Concern I was telling you about. From my once proud herd of neckties, I have only four left, and they were all the cutting edge of fashion, circa 1999. That was when I last had to concern myself with these things, so I thought it might be nice to update a bit.

Now, I have always had a love/hate relationship with neckties: I think they are corporate nooses, a slim piece of fabric tied around the neck, designed to constrict the blood and make you more amenable to the company's needs. Also, let me just point out here (for you ladies who complain about the cost of pantyhose) that one misstep with lunch, and the tie is toast. But, on the other hand, they are one of the few things a man can wear in the corporate world that allows you to show some personality (suits being, well, suits. No matter how expensive). So I ventured into that store formerly known as Frederick & Nelson, just to see what they might have.

Back in my day, a good necktie was fifty bucks, and available aboveground (and sometimes on the mezzanine!). A really nice one might be ninety. I had figured that prices might have gone up. But I was not prepared for what was waiting for me there, on a severely chic little display, down in the basement where the vacuum cleaners used to be.

Quality silk ties are now Ninety Dollars!!!!! And the really nifty ones are - get this - ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR DOLLARS!!!!

After sitting down for a moment, and having a restorative cocktail and light hors d'oeuvre at the little cafe where the watch repair and luggage departments used to be, I realized that, as usual, I was in the wrong store. I could have gone over to the store previously known as The Bon Marche, but I decided against it: The Major Concern does not require the donning of neckware and, in any event, they're nowhere chic enough to realize that my current collection isn't the last word in neckware.

But really: Doesn't it say something when a department store - albeit a quality department store or, if you will, "fashion retailer". (I'm there for you, Syl) - is asking, and apparently getting, that much money for a piece of silk? Being of the old school, I think it says that there's way too many people walking around with either way too much money or way too much credit, but in any event it bodes ill for society in general, especially when the front of the former F&N is full of the most pitiful souls you are ever going to meet - people to whom ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR DOLLARS (or even fifty bucks, for that matter) could make a huge difference.

Let me make this clear: If I'm going to spend ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR DOLLARS, it's going to be for something fun and fabulous. Like these lamps. Which, for the record, cost nowhere near that.