Why I hate Tatoos

I realize, dear readers, that this is a controversial subject, even amongst this population: Educated, erudite individuals who are trend setters in their own right, yet look to me to set a standard. But there it is. I hate tattoos.

It wasn't always so. Years ago, when your correspondent was just a young thing, I thought that they were kind of cool. People who got them were the edgy type, interesting people that bucked "society's norms"

But then it just got boring and tacky. Kind of like male ponytails, but more permanent.

I knew it was fading when they started talking about tattoos on AOL and in TV commercials. That's always the seal of doom for anything. And then when you started to see Fraternity boys and Sorority girls getting tattoos, you knew it was all over.

The final straw had to be my 62 year old librarian aunt getting a tattoo. Then I knew it had become entirely too mainstream.

And originally, many tattoos were kind of cool. Interesting designs, either classical or contemporary, that you didn't see in other places. Designs you might even approve of as a piece of art in Your Gracious Home.

But now, with the plethora of cheesy floral motifs, wacky animals and - worst of all - Gothic/Germanic lettering - all hope has been lost. Indeed, many tattoos you see these days look like particularly appalling china patterns or 70's-era upholstered furniture.

I'm afraid the trend has "jumped the shark", and has become the sort of thing that the dimwitted engage in as a right of passage. Sort of like trips to Vegas or beer bongs.

But no one ever went broke underestimating the intellect and taste of the American people, so who knows what the future will bring. In the meantime, the savvy investor will be looking to invest in tattoo removal parlors. Once these tattoo enthusiasts start to sag, and that extravagant arrangements of orchids begins the inevitable slide downward, it's going to have to go.