The main event.....

While I am a true devotee of the school of “Casual Living”, I am not one of these people who want his guests to feel comfortable gravitating to the kitchen. That, in my opinion, is marketing gimmick foisted off on us by the kitchen design industry. How else can one explain marble countertops?

In fact, if it were up to me, there would someone in the kitchen keeping an eye on all of this while I was enjoying cocktails in the living room, like civilized people do. But as it stands, I must deal with a kitchen that holds one person (me) and which opens directly onto the dining area, where the table is already meticulously set. Therefore, I am usually in no mood for “Kitchen Konviviality”, and that is why I greet my guests by immediately offering them something to eat and drink in the living room.

Once the preperations are done, and we are seated, it’s time to relax and enjoy our repast. But there are pitfalls along the way to contentment. Take, for instance, children.

While it is my opinion that children should be seen and not heard (as it was in MY day, and look how well I turned out!) there is a rather common feeling among contemporary parents that children should be allowed to speak and be engaged in social situations (A philosophy which I suspect directly correlates to the rise of prescriptions for Ritalin) These are undoubtedly sterling parents who are raising what is certain to be a generation of scintillating adults, but in the meantime it does make for some awkward moments. Gone are the days of the corner card table with the paper plates and vinyl tablecloth. Welcome to the world of having your best stories interrupted with statements about bodily functions.

There’s not much we can do about this, but this is where seating arrangements and passive-aggression on the part of the host can work wonders. In situations like this, the parents should be sat with their darlings between them, and be held responsible for any atrocities that they may commit (Depending on the child, requiring a credit card deposit may not be out of line). While you should certainly never point out bad behavior, sickly smiles and comments like “My, I had no idea that little Pellegra showed such creativity in her eating methods” are appropriate.

Now that your guests are cowed into submission, it's important to remember that this is Thanksgiving, and having something to be thankful for is always nice. Despite the fact that the stretch pants wearing minions of this selfish, self-centered nation have voted to allow four more years of that stupid - oops, sorry – forgot about my new leaf there… take a deep breath, remember your pills… give me a moment here….

Suffice to say that, whether you are religious or not (and that’s certainly not a big part of life in the Langdon household) it is always nice on Thanksgiving, when gathered with family and friends, to reflect on the good things in your life and what you are thankful for.

But do it before you start pouring the wine, or it can get sloppy and embarrassing quite quickly.


Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone.