Confessions of a Random Housekeeper

I have to admit it - to come out of the closet, so to speak - and admit the obvious: I am a random housekeeper.

I've tried to kid myself. To imagine myself a Bree Van de Kamp, but I know deep in my heart that I am more of an Erma Bombeck. I just can't get than enthused about dumping the garbage or dusting the outlets.

The Colonel - now there's a housekeeper for you, although his habbits show a strong railroad influence. Going to bed in a "Colonel-Made" bed is like going to bed in an old-fashioned Pullman Car's bedroom, right down to the precisely folded and tucked sheets and blankets, and crisp double pillows. The Greek also shows these traits, although she leans slightly more towards the "let's put a plastic liner on everything" school of thought.

Prior to meeting the Colonel, I only made the bed when company was coming over, and I cleaned the house fairly thoroughly every Saturday morning. He poo-pooed this as woefully inadequate and started a strict regime of making the bed everyday (whether I was still in it or not) and - to my mind, at least - rather obsessive vacumming. And I'm not lying when I say that I don't think our dryer has ever really cooled down.

That's why it was a Godsend for me to find Peg Bracken.

Peg Bracken is best known as the author of the iconic Eames era classic "The I Hate To Cook Book" but she also wrote a classic called the "I Hate to Housekeep Book", which give reassurance to those of us she calls "Random Housekeepers" that we are indeed valuable people who contribute to society, and doubtless have higher thoughts than an urgent need to alphabetize the spice rack.

I know that there are those among you, dear readers, who are similarly random - eratic, even - housekeepers, and I can only hope that this book will be as much of a blessing to you as it has been to me.

Finally, it should be noted - lest you lose heart - that being a random housekeeper does in no way affect your standing as a person of taste and breeding. Indeed, this may even further cement your value as an arbiter of style and international trendsetter. Let the others detail the grout with bleach pencils and wash everything before putting it in the dishwasher. We are made for the finer things and loftier purposes.