The importance of Noblesse Oblige

There are many things that we are willing to overlook in the name of harmony: Flowered sofas, wall-to-wall carpeting, even the occasional pleated lampshade. One thing that is never acceptable for people of taste and breeding however, is bad manners. Particularly to those less fortunate.

This morning we observed a shocking lapse on the part of a group of business associates: We had stepped out for coffee, and were returning to the office when we were approached by a homeless man wanting change – a not uncommon occurrence in any big city, and especially here in Seattle. But everyone in the group froze up like he was brandishing a pistol or something. When I gave him some change and he moved on, their disapproval was palpable. Their silence implying that I had just given this gentleman license to buy crack, malt liquor and a prostitute – which would be quite a bargain for the quarter or so he got from me.

All this for a man, who looked to weigh all of about 120 pounds and was quite elderly.

This is undoubtedly the result of years of TV news, which is surpassed only by the soap operas in over dramatizing life And of course, it should be noted that all of the people in this group were from the “eastside” – Seattle vernacular for the mostly affluent suburbs across Lake Washington, where bad taste (in the form of conspicuous consumption) thrives. But still – that’s no reason to be terrified of a senior citizen. They have them on the eastside too, although their seniors are usually seen behind the wheel of a Mercedes or Cadillac, which is a prospect that I find much more frightening that our homeless gentlemen.

This is not to say that I go handing out money like a latter-day Lady Bountiful. My generosity this time was inspired as much by the reaction of my associates as by the fact that it was cold and rainy and a miserable morning to have to be asking people for change. But whether you are going to donate or not, the tasteful thing to do is at least acknowledge the panhandler and say something to the effect of “I’m sorry, I don’t have any change”

And really, at the risk of sounding hopelessly Pollyanna about it, you can learn a lot from the homeless and/or schizophrenic. I once had a fascinating conversation with a man who was sitting outside the train station. He felt rather strongly that if he were to take his hands off the building that the whole thing would collapse, but that didn’t stop him from telling me about the effects of microwave ovens on our fertility. Then there was the lady who used to stroll up and down East Pike Street asking for money so she could “buy me some hot dogs” It was she who told me about all the wonderful things you can do with cocktail weenies. I still use the recipe she gave me.

This treatment of the homeless is all part of the general trend of boorishness and bad manners. It’s amazing how many people we’ve noted who don’t realize that they should wait for people to exit the elevator or the bus before they barge in, or that it really isn’t acceptable to comb your hair in public. And as for cell phones – well, you know where we stand on that issue.

So it falls to us, dear readers, to try to hold up the standard for taste and breeding against the ranks of the oblivious. We need to set the example. If nothing else, showing courtesy to a homeless person is going to shock the bourgeois. That’s always worth a laugh.